Friday, January 27, 2006

Best Package

NYC Rouge mentioned my late night texting in her blog today, and so I imagine she expects some recounting of my activities. I don't have a stellar story here. I left work at reasonable hour (following the online solicitation to blow some straight guy), and headed to a happy hour for a volunteer organization I just joined. That was three drinks. Then on the way home, one of the other volunteers asked if he could buy me a drink, which turned in to two. After I parted ways with the sugar daddy, I went home and promptly passed out from exhaustion.

Realizing that Grace had absconded with my contact solution the night before, I mustered energy for a 7-11 run. A text message from New Gay lead me to meet him on the corner on my way to 7-11 for a night cap. Well, the night cap at Cobalt turned out to be a $1 rail drink, which turned into another $1 rail drink, which lead to dancing upstairs, which lead to the Best Package contest. Yes, in an ultimate display of trash, a drag queen MCs a contest in which each gentleman strips in silhouette behind a screen down to the buff (shriveled member peaking out like a scared turtle), then puts his briefs back on, and comes out in his skivvies to dance for the crowd. If that weren't bad enough, all four then came out to dance in unison, and if you put a buck in their briefs you got a raffle ticket. Trash. But highly amusing trash, especially when there aren't more than a few dozen people in the audience, several of the contestants our appalling in their belief that we wanted to see them naked, and the bitter drag queen is extra catty. Her best line of the night came when one guy did splits backwards and, for lack of a better term, "presented" his hind side to the crowd. "Oh, he's showing his ass to you boys; not like any of you care you bunch of BOTTOMS!" I howled.

More drinks, and soon New Gay had found his distraction for the evening, while I found myself dancing with the only girl there (of course) until we were kicked out and I headed home... sans contact solution.

Total bill for the evening: $11
Level on the intoxication scale: 6.5
Time arrived at work: 12.15pm

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