Monday, November 27, 2006

Death to Oscar

I used to love this little bugger. He's even nicknamed chinchi because I identified his chinchilla-like noises. But all that is over.
He's much larger than he was in this satan photo, but that just means more Beelzebub in him. Grace is out of town, so I was called on to go over and monster-sit last night. Cat was crazy, and would not leave me alone. At least when I watched TV he curled up on my head and went to sleep.

What's up with cats not following directions?! Gawd I miss dogs. They learn--conditioned response and all that jazz. Every time I got up to use the bathroom, chinchi had to come along and play with the pee stream. It was like I wasn't even there! Seriously. "No!" "Stop it!" I would say. The little shiza didn't even take note. Nope, there was pee to bat at.

And when I finally went to bed? No, when I finally was comfortably asleep even? It climbed up on my pillow, purred, and gingerly began kneading my head...with its claws. Yes, over and over again in my sleep little but lethal claws dug into my scalp, neck, and back. For five hours I would throw the cat across the room, and for five hours it would wait until I was sleeping and start up again with loving stabs.

Worse yet, I'm allergic to cats, so in additional to a runny noise and watering eyes by the time I got to work this morning, those little allergens had worked their way into the scabs on my head, and I have itched my way through the entire day.

Now Grace wants to stay gone another two days. Something about a "dead relative." I hate cats.

I don't like this blog title. Also, I'm sure Grace wouldn't have minded, in fact may even have ENCOURAGED, you to pee with the door closed, and the cat on the other side of it. I do not imagine you thoroughly cleaning up the pee spatter.
And aren't you supposed to be allergic to cats?
I would just like to say that MY cat is a doll, who has no claws and NEVER plays with my pee. All cats are not created equal.

I will agree that trying to teach a cat a new skill is a waste of time. Just love the catness and give it up.

One of my cats pees on himself when he's really afraid -- eg, going to the vet to get fixed. The other one likes to suck is own c@ck.
I think I just peed myself laughing so hard.
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