Bad Apologies

Martha Louise Clark, R.N.

2010-01-04T16:06:00.002-05:00

Born 1914 as Martha Louise Kness in Bismark, Missouri. Martha became a Registered Nurse after graduating from the 1939 class of the Saint Louis City Hospital's School of Nursing. She married Henry William "Hank" Clark and they raised three children, Carolyn, Bill and Jim. Martha earned her Nursing Home Administrator's license from the State of Missouri in 1972. Martha was formally diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease in 2006. Died 2010, in her sleep, at home with her son Bill and his family, wife Marta, son Nick and daughter Maya.

Support Alzeheimer's research: http://act.alz.org/site/TR/Events/Tributes-AlzheimersChampions?pxfid=19620&fr_id=1060&pg=fund

Stop that!

2009-03-04T09:51:00.007-05:00

Hey Pepsi! I know what you're doing! Stop it!

I mean, that last one was just TOO obvious. I'm watching you, Pepsi.

Bon Fete, Canada!

2009-01-12T17:25:00.000-05:00

I learned a few things about Montreal over the New Year, during my first visit to Canada (no, Niagra Falls does not count).

1. People who speak French can indeed be gracious, completely fluent in English, and willing to speak to you in English... if you are polite and deserving.

2. Canada is like bizarro-EU--it feels European and foreign, but you get more for the American dollar, not less.

3. Strippers can do more than just walk around a poll--and ask for less in the process.

4. Leave a strip club before it closes--that is when they'll shake you down.

5. Canada is cold as the dickens, and I will no longer complain about the temperature in DC... at least not for the next few weeks. I just stumbled upon this photo I took in 2005 on top of the Grosvenor Metro Station parking garage. Bethesda's assumption that snow is something they have a legitimate reason to have signage about is laughable. And by the way, who would take snow to the top of a parking garage to dump?!

What a Wonderful American Life

2008-09-22T23:43:00.000-05:00

Like the passage of a rocky fiscal quarter, I'm suddenly back and everything is all shook up. Bail me out, because this entry is totally supported by mortgage-backed securities!

Alright, not really. But it has been an incredible three months. MOSI moved in June through August, and even got a job working in the same building as I. Turns out, moving in was just the right thing we needed. I love him more than I did yesterday, and I know that the strength of our love can stand the test of cohabitation. There will always be hurdles, but I am convinced that will not be one of them.

I am still coming down off a stellar weekend in Pittsburgh, reconnecting with him on his turf.

This American Life is my sustenance for drives to and from Pittsburgh, and six episodes were the bookends for my trip. As promised to now TWO plucky little DC transplants, here are 10 episodes that played (or repeated) this year that I have loved (and so should you):

The Giant Pool of Money. Reasons to love this episode go beyond the clips of Sigur Ros that weave transitions together--I really didn't get the sub-prime housing mortgage crisis at all, and now I do. Don't ask me to repeat it after four drinks (cause I will).
A Little Bit of Knowledge. The opening is light and plenty humorous. Act 2, by the blunt and real Dan Savage (Savage Love), makes me long for gay marriage as much as MOSI's Republican parents did after they listened to this one on the caravan to Hilton Head for the family vacation I joined in July (a blog post I would never be able to get through).
Leaving the Fold. Listen to Act 1 and you will never think of Jerry Springer the same way again. I would vote him for President. Seriously.
The Audacity of Government. Probably the reason I do what I do now, and think that DOJ and DHS can be so much better than they are. Their ideology might actually be making us less safe, and I don't know how you could be proud of this Administration after the Prologue and Act 1, or any Administration after Act 2.
Fear of Sleep. Especially for Act 1, when a stand-up comedian's take on sleep walking.
What I Learned from Television. Everything! This one is live, and pretty funny, and Mates of States performs during the interludes!
Nice Work If You Can Get It. Astronauts doing paperwork in the Prologue, and the PC Guy comes to life in Act 1!
Life After Death. A much different tone, but it puts a voice to the effects on someone's life who is inadvertently the cause of another person's death.
Human Resources. Despite my abhorrence for these people, this isn't much about how HR mostly screws up your benefits. What is fascinating is Act 1, and the discovery of where hundreds of NYC teachers go, who aren't allowed to actually teach, and Act 2, which will shines a light on how many of our neighbors in DC might be viewing us--as part of "The Plan."
My Brilliant Plan. Which includes Act 1, and renting a house in Baghdad.

And from last year: Habeas Schmabeas 2007. I can't deny that my most favorite episodes are those about the hideous practices by this Administration, especially in the legal realm. For when you're ready for something on the darker side of America, this one is stunning--and award winning. An absolute must.

15% off 50% more!

2008-06-18T08:21:00.002-05:00

Althought not listed on the "Deals" section of their website, I just got an e-mail from Thrifty car rental advertising 15% of SUVs for the rest of the month. I wonder why? Not only am I not interested in paying that much for gas, I'm smuggly content that no one else appears to be either. And its a pleasure to see Hummer sales crashing. Yup, I'm that guy.

What time zone is it?

2008-06-01T21:48:00.001-05:00

I’m not a very good work traveler. Well, I travel okay, but I don’t take much advantage of the destination.

I’ve determined that the personal value to me when I travel for work is limited to:

A break from day-to-day work
Ability to decompress in the evening away from home life.
Frequent flyer points.
Seeing friends who live elsewhere.

Today pushed the limits, as it took me twelve hours to get from my apartment to my San Francisco hotel room, by way of Chicago and Phoenix.

I was supposed to meet friends from college here in San Francisco, and when they went MIA I instead had horrible food in Chinatown. There was a semi-romantic ride on a street car, but all I had to share it with was Twitter.

I’m hoping the next three nights will be better. I’ve learned (awkwardly), that my ex whom I stayed in this very hotel with three years ago is coming to town from Atlanta tomorrow. On the plus side, he can find us some great food.

Next week I’ll be going to Kansas City. Fly in (directly), take a day off to visit family, and then do a day long presentation and get back. That’s got the perfect combination of all four benefits!

I wish my insight into travel was more interesting. I’ve even bored myself. At least I blogged!

Ranked Top 50

2008-03-21T19:49:00.000-05:00

Big Yellow

2008-03-20T19:42:00.004-05:00

Oh DC, you're priorities are so flawed. Look at these tacky parking lots you're putting up all over the Navy Yard neighborhood in southeast.
Paving over empty lots is such a shame. And no one can remember what was there before it was a grassy field...

Oh wait, Google Maps can:

View Larger Map

Public Housing!

Take us out, Joni!

Dont it always seem to go
That you dont know what youve got
Till its gone

Hill Dawg

2008-02-05T23:35:00.000-05:00

As tonight drags on, I'm happy Hillary is doing well, but I'm also a little excited she hasn't swept, ensuring that the Potomac Primary matters. I have never voted in a primary that counted. I think Maryland must have had their primary after the damn convention. But now DC, Maryland, and Virginia (yeah, I put a comma before the 'and'--suck my serial comma love) are aligned for February 12. Then again, if this drags on it eats up my donation on the primary and not the general...

At any rate, I'm a Democrat and I'm going to rally behind either of these qualified candidates, but I thought it time I came out as a Hillary supporter. They are both good, and I agree with both on most of the issues that are important to me. The issues we disagree on (gun control, line item vetos, ethanol) are moot points given the realities of the forces in the general election (the Bible belt hates those line item vetoes!). But I am more inspired by Hillary, and I do believe she can carry us better on the world stage.

So that's my vote next Tuesday.

In the meantime, go Huckabee!

Moment of Truth

2008-01-23T22:54:00.000-05:00

So if that isn't obvious, I'm home from another late night at work (Goddess, you working past 9pm this week?), and Tivo has sucked me into The Moment of Truth. Before host Mark L. Walberg (ha!) was even introduced, the announcer stated "it is the simplest game on television." WELL, I have to differ. I mean, have you SEEN Deal or No Deal? No, really seen it? Because NOTHING happens. How on earth do they get a full show out of that crap?

At any rate, this is what I do with my life now. Perhaps you can understand why I don't blog so much. Rather, I don't have many observations on life. [Maybe I just don't want to share them with you.]

As for The MoT, what is up with the shock? I mean, they were already asked a bunch of questions, of which the 21 on-air questions were drawn. I suppose it adds some drama, and I guess it is different when you get asked on air. I'm impressed they get people out on stage after doing the lie detector beforehand.

Sorry, its all I got...

Paris Vignette

2007-12-10T19:55:00.001-05:00

This was my favorite sign. We found it in the Pompidou.

Really fast wheelchairs this way!

In this room, wheelchairs patrons will be burned!

Left Bank

2007-11-02T13:59:00.000-05:00

Bonjour from France! Got to see Philatransplant:And now, MOSI is cooking, and Sis is playing. Let's see how blogger does with video uploads:

Maize is Indian for Corn!

2007-10-29T00:11:00.001-05:00

So Halloween weekend flew by, and now I'm cramming to get everything done and head to Paris with MOSI.

In the meantime, weekend highlight was meeting Amy Winehouse (damn paparazzi):
And making it once again to a maize maze:

[That last photo is to prove the "moonlight" part.]

Back mid-November!

Taxi fares that makes sense?!

2007-10-18T11:54:00.000-05:00

Could it be? According to the Washington Post this morning, Mayor Fenty actually stepped up to the plate and again failed to dissapoint when he ordered all DC taxicabs to install meters yesterday. Other than rendering El Greg's work on a google map reflecting these districts (below) now obsolete, I have no reservations.

DC Taxi Zone Google Map

I mean, look at that mess? Who in their right mind would appreciate that?

According to the Washington Post articles, a recent study found that a metered system will be cheaper than the zone system for short trips, while the zone systems is cheaper for long hauls. Council member Marion Barry has tried to argue that therefore poorer DC residents living east of the Anacostia will have expensive trips to the far Northwest. Excuse me? Why would they be taking a cab that distance, when transit goes there?

I'll admit that I live downtown in Zone 1, and generally have to avoid cabs because they are far too expensive for the short trips that one usually uses a cab for. In addition, they add additional charges per passenger, unlike in NYC and other major cities, so there is no real benefit to cabbing when with friends. I'm skinny cause I walk 20 minutes to go out and come home almost every time I socialize.

But what Barry and others fail to recognize is that fraud by cab drivers does indeed exist. Beyond the oft-debated issue of whether or not cabbies are quoting the right price (and the need for residents to try and game the system, getting dropped off a block early to avoid crossing over a border, such as U Street), there are more flagrant issues I have not yet seen discussed. When I used to live in Silver Spring, a cab from U Street was impossible. That is a long trip but only a few zones--so few cabs were willing to take me. After several left me standing on the curb, I would have to board first and then state my destination, refusing to leave until they took me.

In addition, just last week I shared a cab with a friend, passing by my home on its way to hers. Under the Taxicab Commission rules, it is at the discretion of the driver to take a shared ride. But to me that means the driver should also be upfront about their intention. In this case, the driver took us both, but when she got to her home, he charged her my full fare and then a fresh fare for the second leg of her trip.

Does anyone wonder why the taxi drivers are the only ones protesting the metered fare?

"I'm tired of starring at that damn fence."

2007-10-17T18:47:00.000-05:00

Sorry PD (that's Prom Date). To make up for my delinquency, here is a nice little graphic storyboard. Feel free to print the images out and make a flipbook of multiplying windowwashers.

"Good fences make good neighbours"

2007-10-08T23:47:00.000-05:00

Weekends, three deep (well, the first two were working lite) have been devoted to my parents mending wall. They didn't get my quoting, but then again, they aren't the recent products of MCPS (okay, and I kinda too poetry twice--they're fault, not mine. Alright, and a third time in college). But yesterday was the capstone to the effort, the crowning achievement of an enlightened society ("like menisa" as Tranny Lover just said to me.)
Just look at that fence. See how it ungulates, plunging as the land exhales. It's a masterpiece, really, and it is not all mine to claim. Yes, Grace and MOSI were both in attendance, a virtual lovefest of suburban bliss, with loved ones coming together to break crab cake and set posts.

We toyed, Grace, MOSI, and I, with following this calling. "We'd have to give up our dreams," MOSI pointed out. But that was a small price to pay, when we realized we'd make a grand a weekend (in our heads). Throw in the lemonade stand we could put out front, and we'd be set. Yes, dreams would be postponed, and repetitive strain injury would pose a serious threat. We were almost sold when a passerby asked if we were a business (of course, he did say we had taken our time), but then we realized Mommy Bad Apologies wouldn't be there to supply constant meals. Meanwhile, and Daddy Bad Apologies really was the mastermind. Really, we were just day laborers.

But a joyful group of day laborers we were.

Reasons I Think Hell Isn't So Bad

2007-09-18T20:23:00.000-05:00

My co-worker is having a rough day. My observant boss asked if she was ill. Her responsive crying proved otherwise.

What did he do? He dicated the following positives and negatives list to her, to help cheer her up and put it all in perspective.
I think it's priceless.

On the Shadyside

2007-09-18T12:32:00.000-05:00

I used to spend my evenings and weekends blogging, but of late I've been elsewhere. The evenings have been mostly doing overtime. In an unfortunately incident with a scouring pad, I removed chunks of paint off my parents Camry, and my work bonus evaporated. As a result, MOSI and I declared "cheap September"--or rather, I declared it to him. Not satisfied with that limited amount of disposable income, I've been working late to keep distracted and gain some extra cash for playtime. Pay day for that is still six days away, and I'm counting--the next four days in Philly will test my resolve.

My weekends, on the other hand, have been spent in this charming Pittsburgh bungalow:I invite you to zoom in closer. This domicile, with slopping floors and slanted walls, which appears to have grown improbably over its lifetime, is MOSI's new hold-up, through the door on the far right and all the way up to the top floor. It's roomy, bright, and full of character. Throw in their whimsical taste and some of his parents' furniture, and it certainly rallies my little home.

Suffice to say, my weekends have been well spent. Soon on Cheap September's heels will be Wedding October, so we should see more excitement to come...
I love that man.

"Sorry to be of help!"

2007-08-31T14:22:00.000-05:00

I have a co-worker who ends his e-mails with this salutation. He said it to my face once, and I think my ears started bleeding. Sometimes, when I read it, I fantasize about throwing him through a plateglass window.

When I got to work this morning, I thought maybe someone had finally done it:

Turns out, the interior window shattered with no known cause, raining glass down on our cafeteria at 1 AM last night. As there are approximately 80* of these looking on to the atrium, it is closed until further notice. View from my cube:
Caption: NOT an exit.

I can't tell if I'm sad I missed it, or sad I wasn't eating lunch under it when it happened. [No thanks to you, Chuck Palahniuk!]

*Correction: There are 314... well, 313...in our building alone. This should be fun.

2007-08-30T09:16:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday La La and JJ!

You won't sound ridiculous if you repeat out loud.

2007-08-28T16:32:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking about renaming the blog to FCH Watch. It is the only thing I find interesting and worthy of commentary any more. I'm like the Perez Hilton of FCH, and I make no apologies. With R and El Greg as my couple on the street, I seem to get constant updates: "Creepy guy came out," "I saw two more go in," "He almost touched me!" Walking home last night (yeah, I'm slow, but I still think I broke this story), it seemed FCH might have actually caught fire:
Upon further inspection, it seems they were just hunting for a fire, looking from business to business--like they got called and weren't leaving until they had something to report back. So they checked out everything, and were checking out our local house of ill repute as I walked by:
In other, only slightly-FCH-related news, Saturday morning I stumbled upon my personal field of dreams--an expansive Zipcar lot. Zipcars, so far, have mostly made their habitat in alleyway parking spaces or cheap sketchy lots, preferring to travel in small groups or alone. But now, suddenly, a pride of zipcars have appeared on my block, in a lot doused in You-Can't-Do-That-On-Television green! I'm way too cheap to actually use Zipcar, but after leaving the window down and then brillo-ing off half the paint job of my parent's Toyota Camry (a car so boring, I routinely forgot where I parked it), I might have to start.
And what's the best part? Yup, that's FCH in the background. I haven't thought of any good promotional tie-ins yet, but greater minds than mine read this blog, and I implore you to share your suggestions.

Oh, he's NOT a littering dog!

2007-08-14T19:13:00.000-05:00

I'm far too distractable to be blogging. Not doing anything overly interesting at the moment, mind you. Just distractable. For a full explanation of why I don't blog more, please see Ms. Wish to See's explanation from two years ago.

To further complicate posting, I have been stymied by my attempts to share the joy that was Lollapalooza in Chicago earlier this month. In my attempts to keep my posts as image-heavy and text-free as possible, I took several video clips of my favorite performances (Amy Winehouse, Regina Spektor, Daft Punk) to share here. I even kept them at only 30 seconds each, in hopes that I might fit safely under some exemption of the doctrine of Fair Use. Well, before I even researched that, I went to load the vidoes on youtube and was faced with the disclaimer where I had to promise that my video was not, amoung other things, a live concert. Ah hell.

So anyway, I give up. Instead, here is someone else's uploaded compilation of Daft Punk, which my personal bell of the ball:

Also annoying me lately: Wikipedia. So smug and arrogant. I was going to blog earlier this week about how we have rather useless automatic sinks in our new building, which prevent any temperature control. Sometimes it is scalding, but mostly it is just tepid. But then Wikipedia snidely pointed out that I was simply one of the mislead masses:

While hot water may more effectively clean your hands, this is primarily due to
its increased capability as a solvent, and not due to hot water actually killing
germs. Hot water is more effective at removing dirt, oils and or chemicals, but
contrary to popular belief, it does not kill micro organisms. A temperature that
is comfortable for hand washing (about 45 °C) is not nearly hot enough to kill
any micro organism. It would take more than double that temperature to
effectively kill germs (typically 100 °C).

I really hate you, Wikipedia.

So instead, I'll simply report that I am back from Chicago, I had two wonderful visits over the weekend from Rocky (that's MOSI to all of you), and I plan to hit up Pittsburgh this weekend for more. Boston and Philly are on the horizon!

Oh, and happy belated, C-Fab. You puma.

I bet Paris drinks them mochachinos.

2007-07-31T22:54:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I don't really blog anymore. Really, I'm just lazy (and maybe oversexed).

First I must recant, or at least moderate, my recent post about the 'hood. Specifically, I have to give credit to the fact that, when a storefront hasn't yet opened, we still have amusing art installations. There is the inexplicable compliment box (stupid cynicism; and your compliments are lazy anyway), and also the enjoyable audio/visual installation modeled below (complete with a plug-in for your headphones on the exterior of the display).So, one cheer for 14th street. Hip!

Otherwise, I'm traveling again. Now in Chicago. Guess who's 7 months pregnant!
Babies are cooler when they are this portable.

"That Asian lady is not a Jew!"

2007-07-12T21:41:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Maryment! Here's a photo to go with your last post:
It was great to ride the train with her. What does Maryment look like from across the platform, you ask?
[I have a very merry picture from the outside platform, but wasn't sure about compromsing her identity.]

Thanks for the company, Maryment. Sorry I'm so transit averse. I thought I would be back out that way this week, but it hasn't happened.

Hope you had a great birthday!

Coming Soon! More of the Same!

2007-06-24T09:07:00.000-05:00

On my way to the Studio Theatre on Thursday (Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead was entertaining enough--more entertaining was the woman who answered her cellphone during the performance) and noticed this sign across the street:
To give some perspective, I live along the revitalized 14th St. corridor, which includes the P St. Whole Foods all the way up to U St. and beyond. Seven years ago, when I was first introduced to the neighborhood, the street was lined mostly with parking lots and vacant buildings like the one above (apparently old car show rooms that have been neglected since the race riots four decades ago).

Even then, gems were appearing, including The Garden District, Pulp, and Go Mama Go! I had assumed, mistakenly, that the boom of development would continue to bring independent business and restaurants, similar to U Street and Adams Morgan. To be fair, Busboys and Poets has been a phenomenal recent additional at the physical and cultural crossroads of 14th and U. But more disappointing has been the failure of the residential boom to bring in more of the same. Storefronts keep opening on the first floor of each new development, and the most likely next step is that they remain empty (ripe space for past art installations, at least) or become a showcase for another residential development. On this point, I am not kidding. There are at least eight such "businesses" or real estate offices in as many blocks.

The stores that do open are just as likely to close. I just discovered yesterday that the stalwart Sparky's Cafe has already closed and is slated to move. Now let's be honest, their website hasn't been updated in five years, and they probably win the award for most holier-than-thou, arrogant, or simply angry barristas. Still, they will be missed... sort of.

And now, the most discouraging development is that businesses that do open appear to be trending toward chains. First a Wakovia, then a PNC, and now FedEx Kinko's?! Seriously? Pisses me off. I know I can't do anything about it, I am just disappointed to learn this is where the neighborhood is going. Change is inevitable, so maybe a neighborhood change is on my horizon.

South Dakota is Still Dakota

2007-06-21T17:53:00.000-05:00

These people are seriously F*d up. I mean, I know you're from South Dakota, and I can almost excuse your rabid allegance to the president, if it weren't for the fact that this is the worst possible name for a baby. They had better be illiterate!

Sail Away

2007-06-20T13:17:00.000-05:00

I still want to talk more about Salt Lake City (blogging hasn't been my thing lately), but wanted to share that I just found out about Ruin's blog from his medical/humanitarian mission in the Phillipines.
Take a visit and check out what he's up to. Puts a lot in perspective.

SL/UT

2007-06-11T23:34:00.000-05:00

I'm in Salt Lake City right now. It is pretty unworthy of commentary. In fact, it is pretty much like every other city in the country. The Mormons have their own society out here, and it looks JUST LIKE OURS. Crazy.

But tonight, as I sit in my hotel room not going out, I am forced to reflect on how utterly stupid I am. We're talking borderline mental retardation.

You see, I have been coughing for a month now. Nonstop, hemorrhoid-causing, sex-disrupting, cube-etiquette-violating coughing. I had theories. I was allergic to the new building. I was allergic to some new weed. I was channeling the spirit of my dead Great Aunt (a smoker). So it was today, in SLC, that I figured I need to see a doctor.

Several brain synapses fired, and, OH!!! I HAVE BRONCHITIS! You see, I have gotten Bronchitis every year (usually earlier) for the last 3 or 4. And every year, I cough for a month straight before I figure it out. Jesus Mary and Joseph I am a raving idiot. And now I am stuck out here trying to figure out how to get drugs to get over it and shoving PrepH in uncomfortable places.

And I do things this stupid every day of my waking life. Don't worry. Tomorrow, I'll have another story.

27 Years Later

2007-06-04T19:54:00.000-05:00

I spent much of this weekend with MOSI, out at his place. Had a great time, watched a little Shut Up & Sing (Dixie Chicks rock), napped a lot, played a lot. I also worked, which was productive.

Sunday morning, MOSI's shift was cancelled, and he was able to join us at brunch on rainy U St. celebrating El Greg. I love candid photos. Plus, brunch in the rain on a glass rooftop is pretty damn cool.
After a long nap MOSI, TranniLuver, and I saw 28 Weeks Later. Fiddlesticks that was scary! And even scarier when we got home and I spent the whole night obsessing over how to baracade ourselves in from the zombies. I recommend it!

Interesting quote and then two texts from the weekend:

CFab: "Ready? ... 'It's Wednesday!' ... No?"

Greg (Saturday night): "Just saw two dudes come out of the FCH. False!"

Anti-transit Pete Glow Sunday morning: "no really, I loathe metrobus. Still in DuPont"
Me: "The paint store?"

Ha! Well, they brought ME amusement.

Green Light. Red Light. Green Light!

2007-06-02T20:06:00.000-05:00

As discussed, I have joined a kickball team, including such ballers as Glow, El Greg, C Fab, and Crowl. I kinda hated it, but then I figured out how to kick the ball, and things started to look up. After that, I realized I can score too, and as Mrs. El Greg captured, even look somewhat competent doing it:[If you click on the larger version of the image, it is an amusing inkblot version of me.]

I still can't catch a damn thing, which kinda makes me useless in the outfield, but I still have a few weeks to figure it out. Quick, through balls at me!

Oh, and while I am below average at kickball, I am pretty confident that I am above average at flipcup. Oh wait, my team is SICK at flipcup. Infact, the four listed above are downright menacing, as I don't think I've ever seen one of them miss. Quick, give me a cup with beer in it!

Just for Carolyn

2007-05-24T13:26:00.000-05:00

Because it's her birthday week, and since she spent all of last Friday reading every post on every blog, I figured I'd reinstate the full two years worth of entries that I had disabled. Let's just say I'm in a better mood these days.

Happy birthday Carolyn!

Milestones

2007-05-23T22:14:00.000-05:00

This past weekend marked the one year anniversary of MOSI and I. Let's all take a second and contemplate that one for a moment. . . . Yes, the impossible has become the surreal. Obviously, I'm elated to have him back in the area, and we had a wonderful time.

Because we are the most unphotogenic couple ever, instead the cameraphone picture of the day is of one of the ties he gave me. In no way does it represent an attempt to impose his style on me. ;)
Love you MOSI.

Itchy

2007-05-18T09:16:00.000-05:00

First off, I'm in Dover, DE. It's not the look. And Dover Downs is definitely not the look. I think it is were most people here go to die. Anyway, I complain too much, because the nice rent-a-car drive out here with A.R. and our couple of meetings have been a great work reprieve.

But that is not why I write this morning. I write because all week now I have had the worst case of itchy ass. As in my butthole itches. Not all the time, mind you, but enough to make it hard to handle. This feeling reminds me of our college senior-year roommate, Doug, a muscle-kid/hippie who moved in from Wisconsin after the ex and his mistress took flight from our seven-member den of depravity. Doug immediately set up his basement bedroom to blow glass, which he would take breaks from to swallow one of his dozens of vitamins. When he took breaks from those rituals, he would stroll around the apartment shirtless, his thick chest hair well manscaped, and complain of his itchy ass.

This would, as always, turn me into complete hysterics. He, of course, would look at my very, very seriously and say: "It's really not funny. I have had itchy ass my whole life, and there is no cure." Queue more laughing.

All this is to say I hope I don't have whatever incurable case of itchy ass Doug had. And if so, F* you karma.

"You're glad? You don't look glad. Are you sure you know what glad means?"

2007-05-15T18:12:00.000-05:00

-Homer Simpson

I actually am glad, for two reasons:

MOSI is returning tomorrow!

I set up the NYC skyline on my new cube divider. Thanks Sis! [The post-it (I mean "fire") breathing buffalo was added by A.R., my cube neighbor:

A Nation Destroyed

2007-05-11T17:45:00.000-05:00

It appears that Nation, a club I first attended in either 1998 or 1999--and then what seems like hundreds of times until it closed last year--is finally being demolished. I'll have to pull together some of my best memories at a later time, but meanwhile (no not that meanwhile) here's what I found when I walked by today after TranniLuver allerted me:

For some really stunning photos with narrative of the demolition, check out this photo set on flickr.

Picture Book Update

2007-05-08T22:58:00.000-05:00

Hi! I am bored to death, so time to share this past weekend with--you guessed it--camera phone shots! Friday night was a birthday party for our Denver transplant. I got no boob action, but this picture definitely makes it look like I did--and that was early in the night. I'll admit to being a camera ham.
The clear highlight, though, was a Cinco de Mayo wedding on Saturday that included a long-overdue reunion with MOSI:
Obviously, we had a great time. But seriously, we went to bed at 2am, leaving the bride and wedding party still drinking in their hotel room--and the bridge beat us to brunch the next morning! Real serious.
Meanwhile, I was getting camera phone shots pouring in from the Kentucky Derby:
Including this one, which I didn't think was very K Derby-like:
So now, I am in Nashville, and my camera phone shots are as boring as this:
But yeah, most of my time here is spent on the top floors of the Sheraton in my room, or the Renaissance in hospitality suites. Industry hospitality suites rule.

I'm home tomorrow, DC. Can't wait to see you!

I know why the caged bird sings, ah me, when his wing is bruised and his bosom sore...

2007-05-03T11:41:00.000-05:00

I ain't gonna call her out (unless she wants me to), but damn girl, you make me wish I was having some crazy sex like that. Maybe my trip to Bound got me hooked. Any way you look at it, them's some sweet bruises.

Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.

2007-05-02T18:18:00.000-05:00

[author unknown]The coffee club died today. Okay, I'm not good at lying--it potentially only went on hiatus. We hid our beloved coffee pot (look at how sad he was!) in a box in hopes that we might find a way to continue relying on him once we are settled in our new office building.

Still, it has been a long, sad, caffeine-free day.

"Just woke up in my underwear / what happened?"

2007-04-30T16:49:00.000-05:00

That text came in on Saturday at 12:44 pm from Tigger. Obviously, the bachelor party was an overwhelming success. I wish I could share more, but that is all I am at liberty to disclose.

Saturday afternoon I attended a beautiful wedding of a college friend and, as expected, walked away with the garter belt:
The wedding was a lot of fun. Check out the gorgeous setting:

Already looking forward to the weekend ahead...

Are you picking up what I'm throwing down?

2007-04-28T14:32:00.000-05:00

Living in my neighborhood, I learn plenty of useful information about valuable services and opportunities that you out there might not yet be aware of. On Thursday, it was Floaters Transportation (El Greg, help em out!), which I'm sure Alicia Keys would have used if it were around in 2001 for her utterly ridiculous "Fallin'" video:

I mean seriously, she was a classically trained pianist. Did anyone buy that?

But suspending disbelief, why take that broke down Corrections Department bus, when today Alicia can ride to the Federal Correctional Institution of her choice in luxury? I provide this information to you as a public service. And remember, make your reservation early, because there isn't an after-market cup holder at every seating location.

Life Ain't No Drag

2007-04-26T19:16:00.000-05:00

This pictures hardly needs an explanation. Nick has got superfantastic camera skillz. All his shots are great. I'm not sure what I'm doing, but all of the faces here are priceless. In case you can't see it, click on the image for a larger version, and take in the priceless "Are you fo real?; I'm fo real!" glances being exchanged in the back. Those kids!

Moving Progress Report

2007-04-24T16:40:00.000-05:00

Packing up to move sucks. Moving to a cube sucks. Moving to a sucky cube sucks. Only two more weeks with my own office and the ability to listen to music, read blogs, and watch Hope is Emo.

The system is totally broken.

You Suck

2007-04-23T14:44:00.000-05:00

I was going to post a photo of a painting of a big finger pointing at the viewer with the text "Suck," but then realized it might run afoul of copywright laws and I didn't feel like researching "fair use" rules. So instead, this sign that usually makes me chuckle:Today it inspires more of a feeling of impending doom. Stupid Mondays--I used to love thee. My eye hurts today so I'm wearing glasses, I am packing my office which is no fun at all, I spent three hours laugh-crying last night with a surprise visit from shut yoface! and his new beau (which made going to bed and then work all the more depressing) and thing in MOSI's life are in upheaval and I'm not doing a very good job of being supportive (although I'm not convinced there is a lot more I can do).

So blech to today.

Never Stop Dancing

2007-04-22T21:42:00.000-05:00

I have been silent for a while, but that is because Chicago gave me the energy to never stop dancing. Since I have been back, I made it to Le Loup and Ratatat concerts, saw She Stoops to Comedy and The Pillowman, missed kickball but caught up for flip cup, saw Red off to Sweden with a house party, and got my first taste of fetish at Bound. All that, and now I'm exhausted from a day in the circle with friends.
I will report, however, that Ratatat was awesome, She Stoops to Comedy was Good, Le Loup was overdone and cacophonous, and The Pillowman was hideous (although from all the reviews, I guess I just didn't get it). Hello another week!

Chicago Capstone

2007-04-17T18:29:00.000-05:00

Wow today flew by. So here's a quick (mostly photo) summation of our final full day in Chicago. We made it to the Leather Archive & Museum, so +1 for accomplishing something on our list. Upon being buzzed in, we were greeted warmly and politely asked if we knew where the hell we were.
To see hot leather statutes, of course:
The displays were interesting, but not very photogenic. I found this one humorous, in a display quoting literature on what (and what NOT) to wear:
On to the dungeon, and the swing you know you all wish you had:
That being over, it was time to ride the good ole CTA.
Workin it like a runway:
Margaritas in Boys Town (Sorry Robyn!):
With the land manatee:"please go suck someplace else":
And finally, how we spent the rest of every night--at home hamming and drinking:
Okay, so that wasn't very interesting. But Plizzba and JJ, we had a blast. Thanks so much for having us!

Day 3, How To Give a Hickey

2007-04-15T11:02:00.000-05:00

Like I said, Day 3 was mostly boozing in Andersonville. The one highlight was when Robyn showed zero ability create suction and required an education in how to give a hickey:
If my mother ever sees this, don't worry, she liked it.

Chicago Likes it Raw

2007-04-14T23:45:00.000-05:00

Chicago Day 2 and 3 went well. Day 3 was alcohol-consumed, so let's flash back to Day 2 and Grace making it green at the Lincoln Park Conservatory:But the real entertainment? The widespread animal kingdom lovemaking at the Zoo:
What took the cake were the Francois' Langur, and their flagrant "grooming":
Mr. Langur was definitely a fan!
At this point--I'm not going to lie--I was missing MOSI.
Nothing brings teenage boys together more than photos of butt play in the animal kingdom:
Turned on as I was, that ended when we caught this monkey shit in his hand, eat it, spit it on a tree, and then lick it up again:
Day 3 update shortly...

Chicago, Day 1

2007-04-13T11:14:00.000-05:00

We made it to Chicago, and it is nasty cold here. On top of that, yesterday was cloudy and, you guessed it, windy. The hot couple live on the "beach," so here Grace and I are with them and downtown (way) in the background:Not surprisingly, the first day had a cow theme. "You walk slow like cow!":
Grace giving R2 some love:
Cloud gate, and all five of us:
My companions (and my hot photo framing skilz):
Hamming it up on a bridge in Millennium Park:
It is sunny today, and might be up to 50. WooHoo! Off to the zoo!

WAKA!

2007-04-11T16:07:00.000-05:00

Damn you WINTERY MIX! Our flight to Chicago was cancelled, and now we are on an ungodly 6:40 AM flight.

Here I come, WAKA!

Chicago "Bound"!

2007-04-11T10:55:00.000-05:00

It has been an annoying and frustrating week (if you couldn't guess). But there is a light at the end of a very short tunnel: I'm headed with Grace and Robyn to see this lovely couple in their new Chicago home in just nine hours!Sexy times. I'm sure I'll have updated pictures upon my return. And if you're lucky, you might be getting a souvenir from the Leather Archive & Museum, one of the few actual attractions in Rogers Park, their hood. Trust me, we are definitely going!

2007-04-10T14:24:00.000-05:00

Today I am drowning in a sea of inefficiency and bureaucratic ineptitude. Take as state's evidence exhibit A:This bulletin case has been in our buildings lobby (at the visitor entrance) for as long as I can remember. I think it makes quite an impression on visitors who are confronted with it immediately upon entering. Today, while waiting for a visitor, I actually read the first flyer. Based on her birth date, the first missing child is actually 21. "Funny," I thought. Doesn't one get recatogerized at some point as not a missing "child"? Then I scanned to the entry for "Age Now:" ... "16." Reading the other four confirmed the uselessness of this board: These faded flyers have been up for no less than FIVE years! [Yes, like the movie Brick which I watched in stages this week, I like things spelled out for the viewer at home.] Doesn't someone have responsibility over this!? I certainly can't just drag it off, but seriously folks, buy a clue.

It only got more annoying from there.

Nam June Paik wants your soul

2007-04-09T17:49:00.000-05:00

Last night I dreamt that we had moved to our new offices, and instead of cubes we had no walls at all, just desks (kind of like The Office). It was horrible, because I could no longer do things in the semi-privacy of my office, like pick my nose.

Today I also realized I won't be able to go to cool art exhibits as easily, like this collage of a Nam June Paik installation I made and never shared last July.
Humph.

Anderson Cooper Sucks

2007-04-04T13:54:00.000-05:00

In more ways than one.

Every Blog Has Its Day

2007-04-04T12:01:00.000-05:00

The weather is fabulous--from the warmth yesterday to the torrential thunderstorm at 4am last night (which was great to snuggle under the blankets during).

Yesterday, I met Meg and Stewie over lunch at the Tidal Basin for Cherry Blossoms. Stewie has promptly been enlisted as my new Dupont boy magnet. Could you disagree?:
God he's adorable!...
The perfect accessory...
...and a fabulous kisser.
The one line I got: "You're going to snag more kids than chicks with that puppy!" Neither being my goal, maybe we'll have another threesome this Saturday.
And Jorgtina, you're expected to be there!

Music to Start Your Morning

2007-04-02T07:42:00.000-05:00

This one's for you, Meg. :)

When Life Gives You Lemons

2007-04-01T15:08:00.000-05:00

God I hate that saying.

Moving on. I finally checked my work e-mail today from Friday, and apparently after I signed-off for the evening, I got another one. Bittersweet it is. Like vomiting roses.

A full 21 months after first trying to score a job, DRS has actually reached out and made me an offer! There's a down side. While it will be working as an extension of the headquarters staff, it will require me to be stationed out of Dayton in the Southern District of Ohio, working on several settlement agreements, most of which are in Cincinnati. And it will require a commitment to relocate for at least 18 months.

Working on my two weeks now. Looks like I might be reporting as early as May 13!

482 miles. Lord.

Neighborhood Musings

2007-03-31T17:21:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was an unusual Friday, because I actually got to sleep in and take it easy. Flex Fridays rule. I grabbed lunch with Thunder Hips (seriously, I am hideous at this naming thing, but if you saw him dance you'd know where I was coming from) and then took a long walk through the neighborhood to enjoy the sun.

As a result, I bring you two pictures from our walk. First, check out this crosswalk that showed up in my neighborhood last year:
I friggin love it. Seriously, it is, like, the most fantazmagorical crosswalk I have ever seen. But you know I always have to know more. Sadly, there is no helpful sign to explain where it came from. Was this sanctioned? How did they do it? Why did they do it? Are they going to do more!? So if you know (I'm looking at you Greg), then TELL ME!

On a more whimsical note, this Beauty Salon made me giggle.
I had to explain it to TH, and I don't think he figured out what I was talking about, but that doesn't mean I'm any more ashamed that things like this still amuse me.

F[alse]ICO

2007-03-25T14:05:00.000-05:00

I officially hate this whole FICO score thing. I recently fell under the mis-impression that I might ever understand what is going on, and started to take steps to monitor and improve what is already a pretty sold score. [Hey, someday I might want to buy that closet I've always dreamed of.] I even did smart things like increase my credit limits (while paying down debts) to more quickly improve my debt-to-credit ratios.

I also signed up for myFICO updates. This morning I got my second every instant FICO update directly on my cellphone--a 13 point drop.

"Why did I get this alert?" myFICO prompts me.
The short answer is easy:

This alert was sent because there is new activity on an account that was inactive for more than 3 months.

But from there, even myFICO plays hard to get, like that recurring one-night-stand which just may be interested in more, but hasn't the time to let you in on that thought process.

Even though FICO is just a formula, here is what I get:

You received this alert because one of your credit accounts is showing activity after having been inactive for some time. The effect this has on your FICO score is hard to predict; it may cause your score to go up or go down.

...[I]t is possible for new activity on an inactive account, by itself, to affect the FICO score:

A FICO score may go up if most of the accounts in the credit report have been inactive recently and then new activity is reported on one of the accounts. Consumers who have recently used credit responsibly often have higher FICO scores than consumers who have not used credit at all recently. For this reason, new activity on a credit report with little recent activity can improve the FICO score.

A FICO score may go down if the new activity is reported on an account that was already in bad status. Accounts in bad status include those that are currently past due, have a history of missed payments, or are charged-off or sold to a collection agency.

It may cause your score to go up or down?! Like FICO is some magical genie in a bottle, and if we bothered to ask how it came to this wondrous number directly, we would anger it and forever lose access to its insights!? F* THAT!

Mind you, none of this is really the case. You see, the Nelnet accounts in question are both federal stafford loans in perfect standing. They represent neither recent responsible use of credit, nor do they represent new activity on an account in bad status. I have a perfect payment record on these accounts. I have even paid them through mid-2008. They just haven't told the credit bureaus anything since, oh, December 1.

Thus, I give up. A big ole clenched-fist sign language "Good Morning" to Nelnet, myFICO, and my current and future landlords.

Spring Patrol

2007-03-24T20:38:00.000-05:00

Ah yes, it seems that gChat posts are not just for Fabs and Meg anymore! I doubt anyone will appreciate this, but I'm home alone on a Friday night, waiting for Papa Johns, and damnit I'll post what I want!

9:18 PM me: oh sweet. 23 minutes

9:19 PM moltbe: was that their estimate?

that's a little precise...

me: its my estimate, biatch

moltbe: well then. I now understand the precision.

9:21 PM me: just you see what happens if they don't make it

9:22 PM moltbe: you'll be like, "you are 5.168 seconds late. This pizza is free."

or you'll just say "false" and pay the man.

me: i missed a perfect opp yesterday:

ME: Hi, can we leave a ticket here at your will call booth, please?

9:23 PM Will call Lady, and everyone else in the booth as well: "NO"

My failed response: "What? Are you serious? You guys are awesome! NOT! I hate you!"

such a poor performance

9:24 PM moltbe: yeah. definitely a missed opportunity. A simple false would have summed it all up. You would have saved time and calories.

and the will call people would have been like, "shit. that guy's right. We're dicks."

9:25 PM me: and some dignity

my friend was like "How old ARE you?"

Oh, and Snow Patrol was alright, too.

Where's My Little Spoon?

2007-03-23T08:56:00.000-05:00

Pretty typical image: Meg on the phone flirting with a boy, and me trying unsuccessfully to get my spoon on. But the surprise visit was more cuddle action than I've gotten since MOSI left, which is probably why I'm smiling.
After that was an impromptu game of Family Feud at Cobalt, which left yesterday as a total waste while I stayed in bed most of the day recovering. At least I got to skip forward to Friday, I've got DJ Glow essentials blasting on the work computer (while I still have an office), tickets to see Snow Patrol tonight with Madchen ("If I could just lay here..."), and a wide open weekend with no roommate and no plans (TiVo naked!).

2007-03-21T08:49:00.000-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEXY!

2007-03-20T17:57:00.000-05:00

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said: "No, no, no!"
Yes, I been black, but when I come back, you'll know, know, know.
I ain’t got the time,
And if my daddy thinks I’m fine,
They's tryin' to make me go to rehab--I won’t go, go, go.
Didn’t get a lot in class,
But I know it don’t come in a shot glass.
The man said, why you think you here?
I said: "I got no idea."
I’m gonna, I'm gonna lose my baby,
So I always keep a bottle near.
He said, I just think you’re depressed,
Kiss me, yeah, baby--
And the rest.
They tried to make me go to rehab, I said: “No, no, no!”
They's tryin' to make me go to rehab--I won’t go, go, go!

NWS Saves!

2007-03-17T08:07:00.000-05:00

Two blog entires in two days?! Oh my!

As I'm sure you had trouble missing, after great weather Tuesday and Wednesday it rained excessively Thursday and Friday. The roommate, TraniLuver, brought to my attention this oh-so-helpful reminder from the National Weather Service during the deluge:

WHEN ENCOUNTERING FLOODED ROADS MAKE THE SMART CHOICE
...TURN AROUND...DONT DROWN.

Thanks you NWS! How did you know "Drowning" was #14 on my list of things not to accomplish this week?

Steal this Blog

2007-03-16T16:15:00.000-05:00

No news since the Idiotarod report? Sucks to that asthmar.

The weeks have been just work (well, and three receptions on the Hill that I blame for some of my less coherent moments) and last weekend was a 3+ day bender of fun and celebrations interspersed with lustful relaxation.

First off, MOSI made a somewhat clumsy return to my life after getting back into the city for his spring break. Despite that, we ended up having a phenomenal three days together. We relaxed, we laughed, we played--we did things I had wanted to do with him since we first met last May.

Our status is still in flux because of the distance, but leaving things on such a positive note (rather than how it was left the time before) only reinforces that this is a hiatus, not an end, to having such a great love in my life.

And between trysts were parties for the extended Crowl birthday, including dinner/drinks in Adams Morgan and a late night Sunday dance party at the Black Cat. Which by the way, sucked and then was awesome, all in the span of two hours. You see, Thievery Corporation was billed as the performer, and I guess the audience expected a performance. So they crushed to the front and stood motionless for the first hour. I have seen more dancing at actual concerts before.

TC, meanwhile, just stood there DJing--they hardly even looked up. Eventually, the crowd, who never seemed to figure out what was going on, weeded out, and left space for us to cut it up as was intended. Glow even discovered that a wink at a certain bartender would get you a beer for free.

Of course, that turned my last $5 into three beers, not one, and I woke up Monday just long enough to e-mail my boss and take the day off. I slept until 2, when I ran to meet up with Crowl and Meg for pedicures and to talk about boys. And Crowl's preference to be a kept woman.

Since then work as returned, MOSI has departed, the temperature has teased, kickball has been scheduled, and this weekend is the long-awaited "clean my parents house" spectacular. Thank god for a party at Bunny's to break up the monotony.

False!

2007-03-05T20:56:00.000-05:00

I wanted to share a few choice pictures from this weekend, but at the same time attempt to protect the gainfully employed. For this reason, I will leave name droping and hyperlinking to a minimum. For the same reason, I won't credit these photos except to say I didn't take them but I got permission from who did. :)

That said, on with the ridiculousness:

Lisa in happier and sadder times.
The full outfit (warning, do not "strut it" during actual abductions).
The cart makes it down from the third-floor walk-up.
Practicing our racing stance on the streets of Adams Morgan.
Lisa is a huge Ludacris fan!
Fine ladies.
Cash. Money. Hos.
Hello Kitty was the most appaling part of the day. This pictures actually preserves some of his dignity.
Cameltoe!
The race begins, and we were off with a bolt!
Racers milling at Lucky Bar.
Believe it or not, I was NOT binge drinking. Rather, I apparently do not respond well to running. But that's not saying I won't puke and rally...
The fine ladies off again.
The Tom Tom sidewalk another clusterfuck.

After a long day, Lisa heads home.

Astro-NUTS

2007-03-01T18:33:00.000-05:00

Thank you, Lisa Nowak. Thank you for your inspiration. We will represent you well this weekend, as we compete in the Idiotarod.

Notice

2007-02-27T17:41:00.000-05:00

Convos with Mama

2007-02-23T12:36:00.000-05:00

I drove to Pittsburgh again LATE last night. While saying goodbye to my parents standing on the porch:

My mother: "Drive safe!"

Me: "With any luck, there won't be any traffic."

My mother: "Well, I know you're going to get lucky when you GET there, but be safe until then."

And just 20 minutes before, she was talking about how her grades plummeted the semester she met my father. Like mother, like son...

Journal is the New Blog

2007-02-19T11:17:00.000-05:00

The blog isn't broken, I'm just writing elsewhere right now. In the meantime, please enjoy a picture of my new office (starting in the end of April). I'm not so down with cubes, but as cubes go...

Plot Twist

2007-02-15T16:35:00.000-05:00

Spent so much time thinking I was the victim, it was quite a shock to figure out I might be the villan after all.

A Special Message

2007-02-14T06:37:00.000-05:00

MOSI,

No no, baby, it means I Love YOU!

Get it? Ewe?!

Cause I do!

You Can Hate Me

2007-02-13T13:45:00.000-05:00

But I'm goin home! [Silly organization, worried about the weather. And isn't it typical that the website that is supposed to let you know if you go home early is, of course, down when the announcement was supposed to be made?]

I Love New York

2007-02-12T19:07:00.000-05:00

This weekend was intended to be a drive up to NYC, an afternoon/evening with friends, and then an all-day clubing event at Pacha on Sunday. Yes, SunDAY. For a number of reasons, that didn't exactly pan out, not the least of which was the obnoxious lack of organization by Pacha and the general displeasure of getting through club security at 2pm entirely sober. But still, I had a great time with DJ Glow, Momma D, Rouge (who got hot lesbian kissing just hours after I saw her), and a host of NYC friends.

Also of great excitment, I got to see the Hearst Tower:
I only recently learned that it had been completed, in my old neighborhood near the Time Warner Towers. It apparently made #71 in the American Institute of Architects recent list of America's 150 pieces of American architecture. I find the juxtaposition of placing it floating atop the historic old building's shell to be fanciful. And from a distance it is visually stunning as well, like the Swiss Re Tower in London.

All in all, the trip was an easy one, reminding me of the imperative: Get to New York more often!

This Is How It Goes

2007-02-09T09:36:00.000-05:00

After an incredibly underwhelming season of plays so far, I was finally sated last night by another Neil LaBute creation, This is How it Goes (and my first turn as a bartender before the performance--$30 in tips!). Last season I raved about Fat Pig, and this performance was also excellent, if for much different reasons. It was mostly panned by the WP (and my date: New Gay). But while I saw racism as an interesting subplot, I didn't linger much on that as my point of interest. Rather, I am a big fan of LaBute's banter (which I find refreshing and uncommon for the stage), and in this case I focused on the play's treatment of truth and its distortions, especially as related to a love interest. I was not so disturbed by the lead character/narrator's penchant for riddling the audience as I was fascinated by his motivations. And I thought it gave a beautiful insight into how our darker intents are glossed over even in our own minds to our preferred ends. Perhaps most poignant of all was a short speech about working at a relationship. This resonated with me as I have tried to struggle to understand what should be expected to come easy and what requires commited effort in a relationship--and the elusiveness of reaching a shared conclusion with the other half of that relationship.

ANS

2007-02-08T17:37:00.000-05:00

Anna Nicole Smith has passed, and with her all of my fond memories from her reality show, which we watched with sinful addiction in Summit Hills. The closest I've come to her was outside SCOTUS for Marshall v. Marshall.
But even then all we got to stare out (for several hours with no complaints) was this pretty Aussie reporter primp and then do 20-second spots for what I'm sure was the down under equivalent of Extra!
She did show up looking hot that day. What have you done, TrimSpa?

Mourning Red

2007-02-06T13:55:00.000-05:00

I miss you, Sis.

Car Troubles and Pedestrian Prospects

2007-02-05T10:02:00.000-05:00

Back from Pittsburgh, and hoping for a bit of a photo chronicle ala Meg soon, but in the meantime a report on the inconvenience of a car and the future for us DC pedestrians.

I borrowed the parents car while Mom is in St. Louis, and used that to visit MOSI this weekend. I now have it in the city for the next two weeks to make life more convenient. Last night that was a mixed blessing, as I was able to drive a friend back home to avoid the weather, but got pulled over on my drive back. While I was frustrated at how long the traffic stop took, Officer Brown was very polite. It seems one of my headlights was out (Padiddle!). While I could jump to the conclusion that she probably had better things to be doing with her time, I guess that a salt-streaked, MD tagged, one-headlighted car driving through the neighborhood at 11:30 pm is pretty ripe for a little more inquiry. I received only a warning. Any clue where to buy headlights in the city?

This morning's WP brought great hope, then, as DC DOT begins a 10-month Pedestrian Master Plan. I encourage everyone, DC resident and not, to click the link and take the brief survey by February 9. I personally hope that it might lead to more reminders to drivers to yield at pedestrian crosswalks, and an expansion of the the abysmally narrow sidewalks along the U Street and Adams Morgan corridors.

Happy surveying!

Rugged Laundrette

2007-01-29T22:16:00.000-05:00

Okay, I have a laundromat fetish. I blame movies for romanticizing them (think Ethan Hawke's Hamlet), but I have always wanted to live in a dumpy little walk-up on the lower east side where I had to drag my laundry down to the corner. The books I'd read, the tunes I'd jam to, the cool-crazy-hot people I'd met or flirt with. Not to mention the economies of scale (well, for time, not cost)! Running eight loads at once! LAUNDRY CARTS!

Before tonight I had only been twice before, and both in college. [Another thing I failed to do in New York.] The first time Grace, Hoopera, and I went for a late night run so we could do everyone's at once. We went to a gleaming Hyattsville establishment that shone like a beacon on a hill from all the florescence--I wish I could remember the catchy name. I still have great memories (and the pictures to back them up). The second time was when Big Floppy DD's (I seriously suck at this pseudonym game) mattress was a victim of constant 8709 wars, and we tried to find a place that could take the entire garlic fermented, muddy, waterlogged bed. Like an I Love Lucy skit, it erupted from every industrial washer we crammed it into.

Tonight, I got my first urban laundromat experience. And as you can see, I'm sporting ten days of rugged not shaving. Still, it was less than I expected. I'm happy to save the massive frontloading machines easily took my comforter and mattress pad (the Speed Queen was such a bottom), but the place was generally dingy, the clientele was not hot, and the raging drunk made for an uncomfortable atmosphere. I can't believe this alternate world exists but two blocks from my apartment. Still, for $14, those two loads were a steal, and all in under 90 minutes.

[p.s. - I've never gone this long without a shave. Even if MOSI hates it, we're going to have to wait until he can bring clippers and fight back the bush for me.]

[p.p.s. - Is MOSI such a bad pseudonym? I could call him Mighty Mouse. Or conojito. Those would make even less sense, right? At least you can search the history of MOSI. As long as he isn't complaining, it stays.]

*Did I mention that the "24 Hour Laundromat" closed at 9 p.m.?! Thus the reason I was racing around to get there in time. I mean, that's its frigin NAME, 24 Hour Laundromat. This irks me beyond belief. Maybe because no laundromat can be hip if it isn't open 24 hours. A bar would have been nice too. At least a pool table. Maybe I just don't like liars.

"...a monkey that wandered out of the jungle and asked for a gin-and-tonic"

2007-01-28T22:57:00.000-05:00

Caught Notes on a Scandal tonight with Glow, and found it to be wonderful. It was a bit of a mess, though, with three overlapping story lines: a marriage unraveling, an affair with a younger man, and secret hints at a forbidden (and somewhat imagined) intimacy. It provided plenty of fodder for the walk home. The trailers were equally evocative, especially Black Snake Moan and The Namesake.

For a long time now, I have figured that I was doing pretty well. I remember how great spring of 1998 was--I was an RA, rushed the fraternity and got in, and got my first taste of man-man love and intimacy. And had a great GPA. Really, life was turning around for once.

And for the years since then, with the requisite ups and downs, things have progressed as I suppose they do. The end of that first relationship was a bit of a setback. Becoming a full-fledged adult was another. The second relationship brought a lot more comfort, and the end of that one tinged more with an air of familiarity.

Well now I'm officially tired of being old. If you talked to my roommate, or boyfriend, or most friends, you'd learn that I don't have much of a memory. But I seem to have quite a good sense for remembering emotions. Now I wonder if I don't have too many years of emotions to reflect back on. Maybe I'm just tired of Sunday nights. ;)

Liquid Ladies

2007-01-28T14:41:00.000-05:00

So it's a shitty camera phone. Still, don't the girls glow? Okay, MOSI thinks they look hungover and, well, they are. I'm happy to say I conserved last night at the big Megabert birthday bash, which allowed me to fully partake in the unlimited liquid brunch this morning. Makes me a little reminiscent of NYC, lemme tell ya. Time to start job hunting. No, not that.

Are you busy?

2007-01-24T16:06:00.000-05:00

As the last comment suggested, I spent part of this past weekend in Pittsburgh. The decision was spur of the moment, and I rented a car for what turned out to be a very pleasant four hour drive.I was exhausted, but that soon passed, and I was finally treated to SNOW (we hadn't had our little blizzard yet, so it was still novel). It actually snowed while being sunny for over an hour. Otherwise, it just looked like above.

It wasn't even dark when I reached Pittsburgh. I tried to send this image to MOSI to break the surprise, but he didn't receive it until Monday morning! Verizon, Cingular, why can't you be friends?

I got up in time on Friday for the main event, which was a public lecture by David Adjaye, whose work was intriguing but whose presentation style was little more than mumbling through a series of slides describing the elements of several unrelated projects. Even though the presentation was accessible to the public, his architect speak was also grating. If I heard him call one more window a "portal capturing light from the facade" was out of there.

Worse for him, I was able to stay through Saturday evening's lecture by Liz Diller, of Diller, Scofidio, and Renfro. Diller, who is also an artist and a theorist, blew Adjaye away. DSR are MOSI's favorite architects, and for good reason. I was thrilled that her presentations--which articulate, warm, and even eloquent--ended with a discussion of the NYC High Line, something that always fascinated me from a far.

I had a great time. Being back and going to twelve hours of conference lectures Sunday morning until today was that much less of a drag because of it.

Pick-me-up

2007-01-18T17:02:00.000-05:00

What's the best pick-me-up for a dreary boy? Unsolicited ego boosts! Thanks Meg! *grin*

Good Houses

2007-01-16T11:35:00.000-05:00

It is moody* this morning in the District--cloudy, colder, windier. As anyone who know me would be aware, I'm prone to obsessive repeating of new songs that I like--and to always have music playing.

So this morning, I'll share that I'm listening to Good Houses by Madeline, and waiting patiently for its release, as reviwed here by Slate. You too should get the podcast of All Songs Considered.

apologies given to thin air can't listen
the vibrations don't hit ear drums
all the hands that deserve this
the useless excuses
it didn't work but we really tried

A good reason for waking.

*Okay, to be exact, I think I was moody, while the district was just dreary.

I Have No Gag Reflex

2007-01-15T15:24:00.000-05:00

It's Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend, and that means the roommate and I have been busy appreciating the sights that have descended upon our great city. The Washington Plaza Hotel is packed with scenes reminiscent of Tom of Finland, although perhaps not as sexy.

If you're interested in Tom of Finland, which arguable popularized the very leather culture we were experiencing, and don’t want to view erotic art at work, you can read about it at Wikipedia. If you're not at work, you can check out the Tom of Finland Foundation, their Online Gallery, or just check out two of my favorites: Reading. That last one reminds me of MOSI, but you don't get to know why. ;)

Besides just noticing a distinct change in who has been walking our streets this weekend, we hit up the Leather Exhibit Hall with DG and another friend, where I bought a shirt proclaiming: I Have No Gag Reflex.

As that story goes, a few years back I was at my dentist of 15+ years when my dental hygienist commented that I had lost my gag reflex. "I haven't had any complaints," I retorted, but then quickly recovered by asking what she was referring to. It seems that when I was younger and needed dental work, I had quite the gag problem. It was one of the few things they had put on my chart, apparently. Anyway, problem gone.

By the way, my reference to the quiet Complaint Department went unnoticed, as a short while later I was asked several gender-neutral questions about my dating life ("Are you dating anyone?" "Where did you meet them?") followed by an indication of just how oblivious she was: "What's her name?" Ug. "Lydia," I coughed up. At that point I tried to change the subject, but she kept coming back to it. When she announced the happy update to my dentist, I couldn't speak (with his fingers in my mouth) and he simply gave a skeptical nod.

Fast forward to this morning, when I was having my teeth cleaned by the less-oblivious hygienist that I favor. Talking about cities, I mentioned Pittsburgh, that I was dating someone, and that HE lived up there. She took that in stride, and soon after commented that either I was finally listening to her about proper teeth hygiene or this relationship was getting serious! It's wonderful how less gum inflammation will win over a dental hygienist's heart.

A bit later she came back to the topic: "So, is this a...NEW thing?" "Uh uh," I declined. "Going on about eight years now, although only eight months with him. We don't usually get to the more personal stuff in our brief sessions here," I followed. "Well, as long as you're happy, and safe, that's all that matters."

So, she's a nice enough lady, but "and SAFE"!?!? I hadn't just told her I have a proclivity for being gangbanged by Manilan streetwalkers, I said I liked boys. No one ever told me to be safe with "Lydia." Bless her heart for trying her best to roll with it, but its going to take a couple of hours with a ball gag, a hood, and a leather whip to get over my frustration with such a double standard.

They Got a Pepper Bar!!!

2007-01-09T17:30:00.000-05:00

Oh Nostalgia! Today, with my iPod on random, I came across the We Like Da Moon song, staring those adorable Spongmonkeys of 2004. Well, I realized with the joys of YouTube I can now display this classic here, both in its original form and its Quiznos reincarnation.

We were pretty big freakin fans of this back in the day. I miss you CDCD! Come back to me Carolx2!

Freedom

2007-01-08T19:24:00.000-05:00

On our return from the "deep south" of "North" Carolina, this was how we were wished farewell:

Gotta love it! Thanks so much to Fabs for organizing an amazing trip.

What next for our superheros? I'm back at work, and MOSI leaves Friday. It didn't help that I watched Closer, The Break-Up, and Children of Men this weekend. Thoughts of infidelity, breakups, and an infertility apocolypse swirled through my mind until I got my act together.

I have not much else to say, so here we are aimlessly on the OBX beach the afternoon we left.
I'll leave you with an image from New Years morning, showing how crazy the night before was.

*Those last two photos courtesy of Fabs.

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T19:26:00.000-05:00

Let this image be my excuse for not blogging. MOSI and I got here on the Outer Banks of North Carolina on Saturday, along with DJ Glow, Meg, Fabs, and 14 other of our closests (or at least newest) friends. The house is amazing. Nine bedrooms and baths has even given us some privacy amidst the chaos. Last night was a riot, including a hot tub with far more people than designed. If everything continues like this, we'll take it easy here and make it back to the real world sometime later this week.

Happy New Year!

How ya feelin?

2006-12-23T13:46:00.000-05:00

Feelin better. Having MOSI here, I usually wake up feeling like this! But even having him around didn't keep me from a harrowing assault of simultaneous shits and vomiting all Thursday night. [I have no doubt that the image of me balanced over the toilet and sink for this ordeal is one that I am thankful no one saw first hand.] So bad was it that I spent Friday morning in the ER, being pumped full of saline and strong anti-nausea meds. He took great care of me and I'm on the road to recover.

[Picture taken at Viridian when A was asked: "How do you feel about the War on Christmas?"]

You like that?! Yeah, you like that.

2006-12-20T18:39:00.000-05:00

Nine days without a post?! My bad. I think last week was spent anxious for MOSI's Return (coming to theatres this Christmas), and this week spent... well... you know.

And let me just say, thank MARY for the Leather Rack [Please use that link at home.] Because before I was able to come across the wealth of things that can vibrate, my kink was limited to weak attempts at dirty talk. How weak, you ask?

Well first off, it has mostly been limited to responsive statements.
Example statement: God you're hot!
My response: ...[long pause]... Um. Yeah. You...you're hot... too.

Then there were two recent attempts at initiated statements, each of which were confused for attempts at actual conversation. In both instances, all activity stopped and the response came:
Well, yeah. [confused look--as if he had been miscommunicating] I do want it.
or a matter of fact agreement:
Yup. It's tight.

So, like I said, thank you Leather Rack. Now I need some chick out there to hook me up with some no-gag cream and we'll be Real good.

[Did I actually just post this!? Sex positive bad apologies return!]

PostSecret

2006-12-11T09:40:00.000-05:00

I really like PostSecret. I don't have much else to say this morning, so I thought I would pass on the link and share it with you.

Is it the 15th yet?

"She Can't Get Any Sleep Because of Me"

2006-12-06T00:06:00.000-05:00

Favorite artist that no one else seems to have heard of: The Incredible Moses Leroy

I'm having trouble moving toward bed because I'm restless. [Does that just mean lacking rest? Did you know that decimate means to kill 10%? How often does that HAPPEN? Far less than we use the word, that's for sure.]

Anyway, despite lamenting MOSI in the past (at least in my head), I've felt better about him lately. Not that he isn't amazing. And obvi Thanksgiving was great. I thought everything was going well in my head. But you know, how friggin frustrating is this?! Probably because most things in my life are going so well. Everything is right where it should be, and I feel like I'm in control of my own fate. [How's that for confidence?!] But then a little shit comes along and you fall in love with him and he moves away. And you KNEW he was going to! But it happens all the same. Hell, you probably fell in love with him the first time you saw him, and it just took some time to confirm. So now you're in love and you can't be with him and he feels the exact same frustration. It's like a pathetic postmodern joke that I've abandoned community and family and instead found an element of satisfaction in the artificial emotion of some simulacrum life.

I don't mean to whine. Like I said, I'm doing okay with it, all things considered. Worse things have happened. It only makes you stronger. Absence makes the heart... cliche... cliche... fortune cookie... Your lucky numbers are 43, 24, 31, 20, and 69. [Damn right!] But it nags at me. Like when you burn your tounge. But burnt it eating your absolute favorite food and you don't regret it at all. Still. Ow! Was that the lest romantic analogy ever!? I think it was. Besides, my favorite food is probably bread, and who burns their tongue on bread?

Uncomfortable search of the day on google that led to bad apologies: what to expect dying of liver failure

I love you MOSI

T.P. Gone Bad

2006-11-30T18:16:00.000-05:00

New Gay thinks this is the perfect Christmas gift. I strongly object. How do you know if you're clean!?!? [And would we eventually evolve and poop white?] Black toilet paper doesn't have the patented "skidmark prevention system" of American white toiletpaper. Seriously, enough of my tightie whities have already suffered. At best, I might purchase a tri-tube of this as a rude practical joke for the guests at my next holiday party.

Google Me?

2006-11-28T08:51:00.000-05:00

To prove that you still have to be somewhat intelligent to use Google correctly, here are searches that led to bad apologies over the weekend:

Hanover, Pennsylvania: apologies of 2006
Amsterdam: rize up
Indiana: give boyfriend buzzcut
Nashville, Tennessee: "It's been said that the US Air Force uses this for fighter pilots."
Aukland, New Zealand: watch rize krump with tommy
Huntsville, Alabama: apologies + marriage
India: humour on cough and cold
Greenfield, Indiana: lizzie west bad

And my favorite:

Marietta, Georgia: banging on the door cant hear a thing

*New favorite:

From San Diego, California: a man who dated a drag queen without knowing it was a man

Death to Oscar

2006-11-27T15:43:00.000-05:00

I used to love this little bugger. He's even nicknamed chinchi because I identified his chinchilla-like noises. But all that is over.

He's much larger than he was in this satan photo, but that just means more Beelzebub in him. Grace is out of town, so I was called on to go over and monster-sit last night. Cat was crazy, and would not leave me alone. At least when I watched TV he curled up on my head and went to sleep.

What's up with cats not following directions?! Gawd I miss dogs. They learn--conditioned response and all that jazz. Every time I got up to use the bathroom, chinchi had to come along and play with the pee stream. It was like I wasn't even there! Seriously. "No!" "Stop it!" I would say. The little shiza didn't even take note. Nope, there was pee to bat at.

And when I finally went to bed? No, when I finally was comfortably asleep even? It climbed up on my pillow, purred, and gingerly began kneading my head...with its claws. Yes, over and over again in my sleep little but lethal claws dug into my scalp, neck, and back. For five hours I would throw the cat across the room, and for five hours it would wait until I was sleeping and start up again with loving stabs.

Worse yet, I'm allergic to cats, so in additional to a runny noise and watering eyes by the time I got to work this morning, those little allergens had worked their way into the scabs on my head, and I have itched my way through the entire day.

Now Grace wants to stay gone another two days. Something about a "dead relative." I hate cats.

Sexy Thanksgiving

2006-11-27T00:20:00.000-05:00

I'm back! Okay, I was only gone for four days, which doesn't really warrant a return. Still, I feel greatly refreshed--and I'm going to need it to get through the next two weeks of work. MOSI and I spent Thanksgiving in SoBe at a too cute bed and breakfast. We didn't do anything remarkable, and that made the whole trip fantastic. I could say more, but I don't do saccharine well.

"Everything I have to give I'll give to you."

2006-11-21T09:28:00.000-05:00

*Photo Courtesy: El Diablo

Give us your eggs!

2006-11-20T15:39:00.000-05:00

If Ms. WAS ever carries our kids, we now know how to proceed.

Thanks J-Wo!

I was trying to make jam, but shot myself in the foot

2006-11-20T12:26:00.000-05:00

What a frustrating day.

First, I finally realized where my newspaper has been going. There was a brief interruption in my service while a payment method was worked out, and I thought that was still going on. But this morning when I saw a stack of empty newspaper bags had collected outside my new neighbors door, I realized they have been taking them. Who does that?! Do they think that everyone gets a newspaper? Do they not realize that there aren't four copies, one for each apartment?! If you haven't paid for it, it probably isn't yours. They are nice, but apparently simple folk. I'll have to swing by this evening and explain modern adulthood (meaning: send TraniLuver or leave a passive aggressive note).

Then on the subway I had to fight to grab a poll from a poll-hugger. I hate poll-huggers. Especially poll-huggers that look at you and yet hug away.

Then, at work, I had an e-mail from DRS. Yes, the DRS that I asked to hire me in July of 2005.
So a little over a week after I get a promotion at my current job they finally come through with an interview. Are you friggin' kidding me?! Could the timing be worse? I like my current job, and I really like the promotion. But I like DRS too--and it might take my career further. So what do I do? If only they had waited an additional 16 months, I would have been completely ready for the move. Damn their efficiency!

I have to be loud, I'm sitting next to [Fliven].

2006-11-18T12:32:00.000-05:00

There were many options for today's quote-as-blog-title contest, ala Maryment and Ms. Post No Bills. This quote won out, becuase I couldn't recall the exact wording of Finnean's sexually suggestive declarative at dinner in Bethesda last night (attended by FIVE of the bloggers in the column on the right-->).

Runners-up:
-"I'm not opposed to institutional catering."
-"If you lose the big game, that little boy is gonna die faster than Steve Irwine in a tank full of stingrays."
-Whatever Finnean said.

For the record, I don't like the quote-as-a-blog-title, if only because I always want to know where it came from, and Maryment and Ms. PNB rarely deliver. But they aren't on my "list," ala Red. [You know, blogging from home sucks without the easy of hyperlink button on my browser.]

And apologies to Red, who's bad list I am on, for several reasons. But specifically, apologies for lovable me, but here's one for old times sake: Red, I'm sorry we don't have real jobs. Oh, I mean I'm sorry I implied your job was going to be fake, because really you'll have your own office and income and direct a project, which is arguable more than I do now.

$5.89

2006-11-13T16:13:00.000-05:00

New job feels a lot like the old job. Maybe because no one at the office even knows. Oh well. I'm passing the time counting the accumulation of my hourly wage increase instead. MOSI refuses to share pictures from the weekend, so here's a McSteamy picture instead.